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Groomers often push the limits of consent with their victims

This may be set in terms which blame their feelings on the victim, such as “I just want you so much, I can’t control myself.” This may be pushing against boundaries, trying to find loopholes or ways to press and find how strong the boundaries are. They may guilt trip their victims, or try to make it seem like their boundaries are unreasonable. This often is not about sex. For instance, a groomer might say “I know you don’t like gifts, but just think of this as a token of appreciation.” or “but this was just so perfect for you.” They may wear down their victim’s feeling of autonomy by making them feel like if they refuse to do something, their groomer will choose not to do something else which the victim enjoys or even needs.

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